“Is this the Department of Formal Complaints?”
“No, this is the Department of Informal Complaints.”
“Oh, but the sign on the door says…”
“I was joking. This, indeed, is the Department of Formal Complaints. There is no such thing as a Department of Informal Complaints. That would be bonkers.”
“Ah. Well, I’d like to submit a formal complaint. Hmm… no, I wouldn’t *like* to submit it. ‘Like’ is the wrong word. I would be displeased to submit… That does not sound quite right either.”
“You want to submit a formal complaint, right?”
“That’s it.”
“What is it about?”
“Your boxes of cereal claim that there is a surprise in every box.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I opened my box, looked for the surprise, and found a turd.”
“Go on.”
“And it wasn’t just a turd, it was a third of turd.”
“A turd of a turd? I find that hard to believe. Our turds do not produce other turds.”
“No, not a turd of a turd. A third of a turd. How shall I put it? One over three of a turd.”
“Oh, a third of a turd. Would you have liked a whole turd?”
“We’re going astray here. What kind of a surprise is a turd?”
“Well, were you surprised?”
“Sure. I expected something like a toy, or some knick-knack.”
“Okay, so the writing on the box is truthful. There was a surprise in your box.”
“That’s your stance?”
“Yes, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”
“I see.”
“This is the wrong department for such activity. You want the Department of Making Mountains Out of Molehills, next door.”
“[Picks up phone and dials.]”
“Who are you calling?”
“The Department of Farcical Situations.”
“Why?”
“To report this situation!”
Leave a Reply