“Good morning.”
“Good morning, doctor.”
“How are you doing?”
“It’s probably best not to tarry. I’m parked in the metered zone. Give it to me straight, doctor. How much time do I have left?”
“Let me get the right visual aid. Ah… yes. You see this display with the time ticking down?”
“Yes.”
“That’s the time you have left.”
“Shit! That’s less than five minutes!”
“I’m very sorry.”
“I won’t even have time to put my things in order.”
“Wait, what???”
“If I’m going to die, I need to put my things in order.”
“Who said anything about you dying so soon?”
“You said my time is being counted down by this display.”
“Oh. Yes. That’s the time you have left on your parking spot. I thought that’s what you meant.”
“Oooohhhh… ha ha. So I get to live then?”
“For a while, yes.”
“Say, you’ve never told me what I have.”
“Oh, yes. You’re not going to die within the next five minutes, but you do have a terminal condition.”
“Shit… what condition?”
“You have an acute case of being alive.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, did you know that being alive is the leading cause of death, not only in this country, but everywhere on the planet?”
“So I won’t die soon?”
“No, you’ll die of ocular burnout 10 years from now.”
“Ocular burnout? What is it?”
“That’s top secret, I’m afraid. At any rate, you’ll live long enough to pay the parking ticket that will be automatically generated for you, just… about… now, according to my display.”
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