“I came as fast as I could. I was curling my hair when central called.”

“That explains the hair curlers still in your hair.”

“What have we here?”

“By the looks of it, an abduction.”

“Ah. You know what they say, right?”

“No, what do they say?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I was hoping *you* would know. Anyhow, is that the victim’s underwear, on the floor?”

“Yes. Judging by the content of the toilet, she was abducted by aliens in mid-shit.”

“How do you figure?”

“Look at the floaters, and there is no toilet paper in the bowl.”

“No, I mean, how do you figure it was aliens?”

“Look at what they left behind.”

“That’s alien alright. I can’t read the writing.”

“You’re looking at my notepad. Look at this, here.”

“The latest issue of Aliens Abducting Women Mid-Shit. It’s a bit on the nose, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll show you. [Holds mirror.] See that booger on your nose?”

“You’re right. It is right on my nose. Thanks for the heads-up. I’m going to have to go see my dermatologist before it multiplies.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“How do you figure?”

“It looks too young. Probably does not know multiplication yet.”

“Hang on. I’ve got to take this call. [Picks up phone.] Yes. Yes. It was an abduction. Yes. [Hangs up.]”

“You were on the phone with the coroner, I take it.”

“No, I was ordering a pizza from the flower shop.”

#TheDailyIsotope #AutisticWriters #microfiction #aliens #AlienAbduction