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	<title>cancer &#8211; The Daily Isotope</title>
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	<title>cancer &#8211; The Daily Isotope</title>
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		<title>Two Cockroaches</title>
		<link>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/07/29/two-cockroaches/</link>
					<comments>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/07/29/two-cockroaches/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Your Autistic Life]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2026 21:32:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Short Form]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Isotope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AutisticWriters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cockroaches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ExplosiveDiarrhea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microfiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheDailyIsotope]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Give it to me straight, doctor.&#8221; &#8220;Alright. Inside of you, there are two cockroaches. One of them is dead, and the other is dancing.&#8221; &#8220;Cockroaches? Ew&#8230; Take them out, right away.&#8221; &#8220;No, no, no. You don&#8217;t understand. I was speaking metaphorically.&#8221; &#8220;Why are you speaking meteorically? I said give it to me straight.&#8221; &#8220;Alright, it&#8217;s [&#8230;]]]></description>
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<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Give it to me straight, doctor.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Alright. Inside of you, there are two cockroaches. One of them is dead, and the other is dancing.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Cockroaches? Ew&#8230; Take them out, right away.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;No, no, no. You don&#8217;t understand. I was speaking metaphorically.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Why are you speaking meteorically? I said give it to me straight.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Alright, it&#8217;s metaphorically, not meteorically, but let&#8217;s forget the cockroaches.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;I&#8217;m afraid I can&#8217;t. You&#8217;ve painted quite the picture.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Okay, I&#8217;ll put away brushes, paint, and easel now.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Thank you.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;I&#8217;ll give it to you straight. You&#8217;ve got cancer.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Okay. I don&#8217;t know where you were going with your cockroach metaphor. At any rate, that&#8217;s a relief.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;It is quite serious. Why do you call it a relief?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;I thought you&#8217;d say I have explosive diarrhea.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;No, but judging by the trail of shit behind me&#8230; that&#8217;s what I have.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Hahaha!&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;I wouldn&#8217;t be laughing if I were you. With the chemo you&#8217;re about to get, you&#8217;ll get a good idea of the explosive diarrhea experience. Hahaha!&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/thedailyisotope/">#TheDailyIsotope</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/autisticwriters/">#AutisticWriters</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/microfiction/">#microfiction</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/cockroaches/">#cockroaches</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/shit/">#shit</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/explosivediarrhea/">#ExplosiveDiarrhea</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/cancer/">#cancer</a></p>
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			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Stupid Cancer</title>
		<link>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/02/13/stupid-cancer/</link>
					<comments>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/02/13/stupid-cancer/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Your Autistic Life]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Feb 2026 00:09:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Short Form]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Isotope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AutisticWriters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microfiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stupid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheDailyIsotope]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Give it to me straight, doctor. What is it?&#8221; &#8220;Oh, it&#8217;s a stupid cancer.&#8221; &#8220;Cancer? Jeez&#8230; you sure gave it to me straight. What type is it?&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;ve told you already. Stupid.&#8221; &#8220;Hey now, I may be a little slow but don&#8217;t call me stupid.&#8221; &#8220;You&#8217;re not understanding me. You have cancer of the stupid.&#8221; [&#8230;]]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Give it to me straight, doctor. What is it?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Oh, it&#8217;s a stupid cancer.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Cancer? Jeez&#8230; you sure gave it to me straight. What type is it?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;I&#8217;ve told you already. Stupid.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Hey now, I may be a little slow but don&#8217;t call me stupid.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;You&#8217;re not understanding me. You have cancer of the stupid.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;What? Cancer of the stupid?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Yes, you&#8217;ve got a huge tumor right in the middle of your stupidity.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;What&#8217;s my prognosis?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Two to three months.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;I&#8217;m going to die in two to three months?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;No, your stupidity will have been completely eaten away in two to three months.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Then what?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;You&#8217;ll become a genius.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/thedailyisotope/">#TheDailyIsotope</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/autisticwriters/">#AutisticWriters</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/cancer/">#cancer</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/stupid/">#stupid</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/microfiction/">#microfiction</a></p>
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