A recent survey uncovered an alarming trend among coffee drinkers. It revealed that two thirds of coffee drinkers lick a live electrical outlet right after they drink their coffee.

John Minston, a dentist from the National Common Sense Dentistry Institute, explains, “For some baffling reason, a lot of coffee drinkers like to lick a live electrical outlet right after they drink coffee. This is the one thing you should never do. You want to drink toilet water as a chaser, kiss a shark, or even detonate a nuclear bomb? Have at it! But never ever lick an electrical outlet.”

When asked for alternatives, Minston continued, “We don’t recommend adopting this behavior. We instead suggest that coffee drinker go lick a cat, or their own hand. This way they don’t risk electrocuting themselves.”

Nancy Strong, a coffee drinker, agrees, “Yeah, I used to lick the electrical outlet, but I was shocked when I discovered that I could electrocute myself. Who would have known that electricity runs thought that thing? I now lick the cat, much safer. Ack… aaaaarck….” She then coughed up a hairball.

The National Common Sense Dentistry Institute urges coffee drinkers to stop licking electrical outlets. Minston concluded, “Even if it means that a cat somewhere is going to be annoyed at their owner’s new behavior.”

Yes, I know that’s the second article of the day, but sometimes the satire just writes itself! This article inspired this story:

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/loving-drinking-coffee-heres-the-1-thing-you-definitely-shouldnt-do-according-to-a-dentist_uk_671f59c3e4b03aa5c1cdb386

Scientific studies indicate that within 100 years, cats will have eradicated humans. The lead scientist of the study, Xi Ming, explains, “The mouse models are quite clear. Within a hundred years, humans will be extinct because cats will have eradicated them, just like they do with mice.”

Asked about the wisdom of using a mouse model, Ming says, “It is well known that mouse models accurately replicates human biology. Besides, the rabbit models confirm what the mouse models have shown. We’re doomed!”

Columbia University’s John Fraser, professor of biology, disagrees. “If we use the pig model, or even better, the wolf model, then it is the cats that have a hard time. With the wolf model, especially, those cats don’t stand a chance.”

Ming scoffed at the notion. “When my cat looks at me, I can clearly see that he’s just waiting for me to die. They are going to take over the world. Just you wait!”

What do you think? Will cats eradicate humans within 100 years?