<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>NewPeople &#8211; The Daily Isotope</title>
	<atom:link href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/newpeople/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>https://www.thedailyisotope.com</link>
	<description>A satirical news site!</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 15 Jul 2026 17:04:27 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en-US</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>
	hourly	</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>
	1	</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0.2</generator>

<image>
	<url>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/image-1-scaled-1-150x150.png</url>
	<title>NewPeople &#8211; The Daily Isotope</title>
	<link>https://www.thedailyisotope.com</link>
	<width>32</width>
	<height>32</height>
</image> 
	<item>
		<title>New people</title>
		<link>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/07/15/new-people/</link>
					<comments>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/07/15/new-people/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Your Autistic Life]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Jul 2026 17:04:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Short Form]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Isotope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AutisticWriters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[babies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microfiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NewPeople]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheDailyIsotope]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/07/15/new-people/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[&#8220;How was work today?&#8221; &#8220;It was Bring Family To Work Day. So I met a bunch of new people.&#8221; &#8220;How did it go?&#8221; &#8220;Well, the first person I met was crying all the time.&#8221; &#8220;Wow.&#8221; &#8220;Yeah, we tried to cheer him up. We tried giving him food and drinks, doing a puppet show. Nothing worked.&#8221; [&#8230;]]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;How was work today?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;It was Bring Family To Work Day. So I met a bunch of new people.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;How did it go?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Well, the first person I met was crying all the time.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Wow.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Yeah, we tried to cheer him up. We tried giving him food and drinks, doing a puppet show. Nothing worked.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;A puppet show, eh?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Yeah. Then the second person I met regurgitated all over me.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Wow. Do you know what was wrong with this individual?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;No. That&#8217;s just something that new people are liable to do.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Er&#8230; I&#8217;m not sure what this has to do with being a new person, but okay&#8230;&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Then, the third new person I met was a complete stinker.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;What do you mean?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Her diaper was full.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;How did you know she was wearing a diaper? She could just have shat herself.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;That full diaper was visible for everyone to see.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;What?! What full-grown adult would go around the office with their diaper visible for all to see.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Who said it was a full-grown adult? I was talking about *new* people. People that are new to this world.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;&#8230;&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;In other words, babies.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;That does not make sense. New people means people *you* did not know beforehand.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Oh? Let&#8217;s see. If I say &#8216;I saw a bunch of old people at the grocery store.&#8217; what do you understand?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;I understand that there were people of advanced age at the grocery store.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Right. You do *not* understand that there were people I already knew there.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;So?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Consequently, when I talk about *new* people, I&#8217;m talking about people who were born recently. Babies. Ergo ipso facto.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Semper ubi sub ubi!&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;What?&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">&#8220;Oh, I thought we had switched to Latin.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/thedailyisotope/">#TheDailyIsotope</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/autisticwriters/">#AutisticWriters</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/microfiction/">#microfiction</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/newpeople/">#NewPeople</a> <a rel="tag" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://www.thedailyisotope.com/tag/babies/">#babies</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2026/07/15/new-people/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
