pushups – The Daily Isotope https://www.thedailyisotope.com A satirical news site! Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:38:49 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0.2 https://www.thedailyisotope.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/image-1-scaled-1-150x150.png pushups – The Daily Isotope https://www.thedailyisotope.com 32 32 Here’s how many push-ups you should be able to do, by age https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2024/11/12/heres-how-many-push-ups-you-should-be-able-to-do-by-age/ https://www.thedailyisotope.com/2024/11/12/heres-how-many-push-ups-you-should-be-able-to-do-by-age/#respond Tue, 12 Nov 2024 15:38:49 +0000 https://www.thedailyisotope.com/?p=178
Perform them with a lover, and gaze into each other’s eyes!
(Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash)

The research team at The Daily Isotope has recorded how many pushups its team of dedicated journalists are able to do according to their age. We’ve furthermore extrapolated from this data to come up with figures at any age. Here are the results.

AgeNumber of push ups
fetal∞
0-2 years1938380
2-10 years3938
10-20 yearsfuck no!
30-45 years394, sober
40-50 years93, on an incline
50-60 years15, from the knees
60 and over3, but only if the wind is favorable
corpse0
ghost-5

None of the people surveyed that were between 10 and 20 years of age wanted to do any push ups. Corpses were unable to do any pushups, despite our best encouragements. Ghosts, for their part, were only able to do a negative number of push ups.

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