Janet Jones is a woman on a mission. Her mission is to get people to treat reading like working out. She explains, “People will take the new year’s resolution to exercise, and then a few weeks later, they’ll forget about exercising. People should do the same with reading. They should take the resolution to read more, and then a few weeks later, they can forget about this resolution.”

She continues, “It’s like when they get a subscription to a local gym. They go once, or twice, and then they stop. People should absolutely treat reading in the same way. They should subscribe to a reading group, go once or twice, and then stop.”

We put the question to James Sparks, an ordinary man. He told us, “I hate to exercise. That’s why I do it sparingly. I guess I could do the same with reading. I could read the daily weather forecast, and spend 20 minutes reading the flyers that I keep receiving through the mail.”

We told Sparks that Jones heads a reading group. He replied, “Yeah, I’m going to subscribe to her group and then find reasons not to go, but I won’t cancel. That way, I’ll always be able to point to my subscription as proof that I am taking reading seriously.”

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This satire was inspired by this real article:

https://slate.com/life/2025/01/reading-decline-books-new-years-resolution.html